Tonight I feel sad. I'm not sure why, exactly, I feel sad. I could understand if I was just stressed (I'm that, too), but I'm sad.

Tonight we had roasted chicken and tabouleh and hummus and sweet potatoes and brown rice for dinner. I made the tabouleh. It wasn't difficult: it comes with directions on the box, and Mom was in the kitchen the whole time making other portions of the meal. And I was sitting there at dinner, thinking to myself about how tabouleh tastes like summer (it's the cucumbers, I think, and the lemon), and then I just thought about how healthy the meal was and I felt quite satisfied with myself.

I could live off of tabouleh. For a while, anyway, until I got sick of it and wondered what on earth I was thinking when I decided I could live off of it.

I think I'm sad because I'm seeing the end and suddenly I'm thinking about all of the things that I have to do before the end gets here, and I'm totally overwhelmed. And when I get overwhelmed like this, I kind of just want to curl up into a ball and cry and maybe cease to exist, just a little bit.

I'm terrified of my own future.