I am trying very hard to be happier lately, but I think that maybe Mother Nature is against me. In any case, I seem to be either melancholy or laughing, and the outlier would be rage, because I tend to let my anger ramp up when I'm talking to people about whatever is frustrating me. You know, it's funny... I tell people a lot of the time that I have a lot of anger, but I don't think I usually have that much anger. I do have more anger than most people give me credit for, so I guess it's sort of an average. Reality is, I mean.

I've been thinking about senioritis a lot lately. Senoritis - thankfully I don't think I have it yet - makes perfect sense to me in college. Yeah, you've been in school for 17 or 18 years now and it just keeps getting harder and you're tired of paying to put the work in instead of working to get paid. Grades stop meaning anything to you, college is not the real world, and you're tired of the pretentiousness of academia.

Well, personally, I'm not. I think it's hilarious, the pretentiousness of academia, and I want in. Someday I'll be jaded and disillusioned and generally miserable, but for now I'm intrigued and entertained and I want it to go on forever. Well, maybe not forever, but I'll tell you something: more than a few days of break and I start itching to DO something.

But senioritis in high school does not make sense to me. Senioritis in high school should not exist. Not for college-bound seniors. What, do you think that somehow college is going to be the magical land of go-away-and-live-with-five-thousand-other-18-year-olds, drink a lot, and after four years of initiation rites they hand you your degree?

One of the reasons I grew to love college so much, so quickly is because I finally felt challenged. I finally felt like I was teetering on the edge of having just this little bit too much on my plate, and I kept adding things for the novelty of it all. And I knew coming in that I was going to have to work for it in a way that I never, ever had to work in high school. So this business of having senioritis for your senior year of high school?

I don't buy it. You've put your deposit in, so you're committing to AT LEAST fifteen weeks of harder work than you've done in high school (exception: if you took a bunch of AP courses and get credit but took those classes over again in your freshman year). You're not done working, you're not done with school... stop pretending you've lost all motivation to do work.

No one likes homework. Just saying. If I had a choice between lying around all day catching up with LOST and doing my biochem homework, you'd better believe I'd choose LOST. I do have that choice, though, and in some blissful alternate reality I'd like to sit around and watch my TV show on hulu, but let's face it: I'm aware that in order to earn the grade I want in that course, I am going to have to get my homework done.

Excuse me while I get off of my soapbox: I have a lot of biochem homework to finish instead of watching LOST. :(