Monday, January 6, 2014

2014: a spur of the moment resolution


While I was home for Christmas and New Year's, I was steadfast in my resolve to not resolve.  Not only is New Year's Eve my least favorite holiday, but I also don't really believe in making resolutions as a way to celebrate a new year.

That doesn't mean I don't get it.  The whole shebang makes a lot of sense to me.  People want to shake off the baggage of the past year, and they can ceremoniously dispense with less than stellar happenings as the year turns over.  January 1, a whole year ripe with promise.  A year we haven't screwed up yet!

Maybe this sounds a little cynical.  It’s probably my dislike for the holiday bleeding its way through.  I just don’t think that any resolution that you have to wait for an “occasion” to make is probably going to stick.

So there I was, sitting on the soon-to-not-be nude colored countertops in the kitchen, talking to Mom about ceremonial resolutions and how I had none to make.  Jon told me a funny little snippet of a story – you know, without any of the contextual bits, so you will just have to imagine a little stick figure person – wherein the subject makes a New Year’s resolution to make only one resolution.

Bam.

The recursive resolution appealed to me, because there was really no way to accidentally break it, and it would be fairly difficult to fall off the one-and-done wagon.

Maybe one-and-done isn’t really an appropriate turn of phrase, but I think it works well here.

Mom suggested that she might resolve to blog more regularly.  In digestible bits, because she firmly believes, having read a statistic somewhere that is most probably true (it only makes sense), that people tend to like smaller blog entries.  300 to 800 words, maximum, I think it was, although now that I think of it, I can’t remember.

So she settled on 500 words a day, but then she thought she had better allow for the Sabbath and it might be nice to have another day off, so it is an approximately (no less than) 5 days of 500 word blog entries per week.  Of course, you can make up for it if need be, but it turns out that 500 words is a pretty substantial number and it might be tough to find enough wonder among the monotonous days to hit 1000 to make up for a missed day,

Then again, college application essays were usually about 1000 words.  For all the difficulty we find in trying to write nice things about ourselves to make other people want us, that benchmark usually comes all too soon.

Anyway, I thought it sounded kind of nice, being woefully out of touch with my blogging in recent (and not so recent) years.  So I committed to try for the month of January with her, and here I am making up for our lost time.

We didn’t make our resolution on January 1.  Cut us a break!

Then again, it is only January 5 today, and only January 1-3 were actually week days, so I figure if I want to try to catch up on my lost time, I only have to write 1500 words tonight.  We will see how many words I have in me.

Let me talk a little bit about New Haven.  I am not sure why it is, because to the best of my knowledge, New Haven has been in the northeast as long as it has existed, but New Haven is really awful at snow removal.

I occasionally pride myself on being able to drive well in the snow.  I think it has a lot to do with being able to keep my cool while everyone else kind of flails.  But if it snows any substantial amount, my little Elantra is staying put.  Because I pay the insurance on that baby, and I know the deal.

The roads get slick, the hills get treacherous, the other drivers get timid, the plows push the snow around but no one actually deals with the frozen stuff on the roads.  It sometimes feels like I’ve been pushed into some weird post-apocalyptic society where salt is unknown.

When they do salt, they just pour it in one place on the sidewalk and move on, leaving a small salt mountain.  But this is rare, so it is almost appreciated when one stumbles upon the rare salt hill.

Why am I talking about this?

I will tell you why.

Today, I fell down twelve concrete stairs and landed in an ungainly heap on the sidewalk below.  I really feel that stairs should be salted.  I was heading out to meet some friends for a late lunch and I decided to walk rather than risk trying to park on the pitifully plowed streets of New Haven.

As I was heading out down the path to the stairs to the street, I was doing a quick check for the trifecta, as DJ calls it: wallet, cell phone, keys.  As I stepped down onto the first step, I immediately felt my foot slide right out from under me, but instead of falling flat on my behind (which now that I think of it, I’m not entirely sure why that didn’t happen but I think my tailbone is thanking me), I went forward.  I reached desperately for the railing and I can’t remember whether my hand slipped off of it or whether I missed entirely.

That is also lucky, because I suspect if I’d actually had some purchase with my hand on the railing, I’d probably have broken a wrist or dislocated something in my arm.

However, I didn’t feel lucky as I hung suspended over a set of very solid, very icy concrete stairs.  The thought almost lazily crossed my mind as I was crashing to earth – maybe this is the time for me to break my first bone – and then I bounced once and landed on my shoulder.  It is all very much a gray, slushy blur in my memory.

An explosion of pain shot through my left thigh and I dimly wondered if I’d managed to snap something in there, wondered if a wall of adrenaline was keeping me from feeling the worst of the pain.  I had snow and dirt in my hair, minor scrapes up my left arm, two throbbing knees and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stand on my left leg.

I looked around and no one had seen and I, ever the pragmatist, was relieved.  Not my most graceful moment, but I know it wasn’t my fault that it happened.  I finally pulled myself to a knee and then put some weight gingerly on my left leg as a few cars drove past.  It held, so I was pretty sure it wasn’t broken.  In fact, the pain only intensified when I moved it, not when I put weight on it.  Probably a muscle injury!  I thought.  I can think this because my brother is going to be a doctor.

A car slowed to a stop as I was attempting to walk down the equally icy, fairly sharply sloped sidewalk on Canner.  The reverse lights came on, and she backed up enough that I could see her clearly through her open passenger side window.  She was a middle-aged African American woman with a concerned face, and she asked me if I was all right.

I tried not to pause too long to consider.  “Oh, yes, I’m okay.  I’ll be all right.”

“You’re sure?” she asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be all right.” I repeated, and she slowly drove away.

I realized that there was no way that I was going to make it down this slip-n-slide of a sidewalk, with or without a really epic bruise on my thigh that is just waiting to surface.  As she drove off, I entered the snow bank to make my way to the road.  One careful step, one more (ouch), and on the third my foot slipped out from under me and I went down again.  On my back, this time, and into snow, so it was wet and embarrassing, but not painful.

I slipped the rest of the way to the restaurant, jarred by pain every time a step wasn’t as true as I expected, but I was careful and stayed upright for the rest of the journey.

My feelings on the matter are as follows: if New Haven can’t be bothered to salt the stairs and sidewalks, they might as well not shovel them.  Sets of icy stairs and sidewalks are far more dangerous than snowy stairs and sidewalks, and no easier to travel.  At least if you fall in snow, you probably won’t damage yourself.

I maybe ought to call Yale and let them know that this is dangerous.  I hate calling people and I don’t really want to talk about how I fell to someone.  But, you know.  I could sue them, but they’re already covering my medical costs so there’s not really much point.

I have two scraped up knees that look pretty bad, but I am mostly excited for the bruise on my thigh to surface because it is going to be amazing.  I am in so much pain.

I have taken some advil and I am going to go to bed now.  I have successfully written just over 1500 words.

See you tomorrow.

No comments:

Post a Comment