Thursday, December 27, 2012

2012: as ever, an incomplete review

Interesting.

I downloaded the app for Blogger on my iPad, so I am now sitting here typing on my bluetooth keyboard case. Seriously, it is so cool. It's like a little laptop! And because of that, I have a really hard time remembering that I have to touch the screen to get stuff done. My fingers keep looking for a trackpad.

Anyway.

So I got the app, and I opened it up and signed in, and all of a sudden I found every single blog post I ever lost, stored in cyberspace as a draft. I wonder why I could never find these on my computer...? Anyway it was pretty fascinating to go through them, because there were a bunch that were quite complete and that's really exciting for me. Maybe I'll compile them into one big retro-post and get them out here for real.

Okay. 2012.

I'm making real progress here; I don't think I'm dreading the new year the way I usually do. Although I just now thought about the progress I have been making toward my PhD and ... well, my stomach crinkled itself up a little bit. Reset! Reset! Ugh. I think this is normal...?

Here are a few things that I have learned about myself during 2012.

I am pretty well done with classes now. I got to where I honestly felt a little bit insulted that I still had to take exams. Exams? Really? Exams have no real-life analog. Besides, after the first few classes, I rarely enjoyed cell biology. It was not enough about things that I need or want to learn.

I have trouble letting go sometimes, and I am not sure I am enthusiastic enough about my project. Although I think I am building enthusiasm, and I try to remind myself that my entire paradigm of research has been sort of forcefully shifted and if that's taking some time to adjust to, that's probably okay.

Piping frosting is really difficult. Also, if a buttercream recipe calls for four sticks of butter, don't use the entire pound of butter. Unless you legitimately want your buttercream to be butter flavored. The group seemed to be okay with it but I was definitely not a fan.

Snickerdoodles do actually need the shortening. It gives them some structural integrity. However, they taste amazing if you use butter instead. No one seemed to care that they weren't strictly snickerdoodles because I stuffed them with sticky, soft caramel and the flavor that resulted was sort of magnificent. If I do say so myself.

Getting up in the morning to exercise feels awesome. After I do it, of course, because getting out of bed isn't fun and neither is the running, really. But I guess it makes me feel sort of proud of myself, and that's something. I have some nice pictures of sun through bare, wintry tree branches on a foggy day that I took around 7:45 am after my run. They are on my phone though so I can't post them now.

Never, under any circumstances, ever, ever, ever go out for legitimate Mexican food when your stomach is already feeling a bit off. This is a bad decision and you will regret it. Also, avoid going to Buffalo Wild Wings. Always. Please remember this. It's not worth it. They always get your order wrong and the wings are absolutely not worth the indigestion that will inevitably result later.

Movies are pretty fun. Especially in that big IMAX theater at the mall. It has been a good year for movies.

I think I am having a hard time being retrospective. I think it's really hard to accurately judge how things are going in lab. I have this constant fear that I'm not working hard enough, and I'm sure sometimes that it's true, but it is often untrue as well.

Ugh this is making me feel a little bit sick hahahaha I don't know if I'm up to finishing it. I don't remember what happened in individual months, as it kind of blends together, more so than it did in previous years. I suppose I'm the depressed second year.

What was it Brad said? Optimistic first year, depressed second year, jaded third year, time-to-get-out fourth year? Well, it might take some tweaking at the end there, but the first three years are sufficiently described, I imagine.

I often wonder if I'm cut out for this and what my direction in future will be. I don't much like to think about it, but I try to, sometimes. I don't know what's going to happen five years on down the road, and maybe that's okay.

I hope 2013 has more movement to it than 2012, which stalled out several times and went a bit stagnant. I'll keep my chin up for now.

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